Is “Roasting” Really Harmless?

“Roasting” has become a common part of children’s vocabulary. Often brushed off as harmless teasing or “just a joke,” this form of insult comedy is gaining traction among children and adolescents. While it may seem like innocent fun, research suggests that it can have serious negative effects on children’s mental health and social development.

Roasting has long existed in comedy, but it is now showing up more and more in classrooms, group chats, and comment sections on social media. Whether roasting is harmless or harmful depends on three key things: intent, consent, and context.

Roasting can cause “fear, anger, sadness, guilt, confusion, loss of self-confidence and/or severe psychological suffering and even rebellion and avoidance of the environment” (Wiliyanarti et al., 2020). It can also be considered a form of verbal abuse, especially where consent and context are lacking. Online roasting is often taken to new levels due to anonymity, making it easier for children to say things they would not say face to face. As a result, online roasting can quickly become more intense and damaging.

This makes it imperative that parents and caregivers are aware of their children’s online behavior. Some children may even ask to be the subject of a roast. According to Psychiatrist Dr. Gail Saltz, this “could mean that your child is struggling with depression or anxiety, or it could even mean that your child is feeling left out” (ABC News, 2017). Dr. Saltz considers this behavior to be “self-destructive.”

Parents should also be aware if their child is roasting others, as it can open up a conversation about bullying.

It is often easier for adults to tell the difference between a joke and a jab, but for children, that line is much blurrier. A study at the University of Alabama examined how children at different developmental stages view teasing (Mills, 2016). Third graders viewed teasing as mean and directed only at people they disliked. Sixth graders started to understand teasing could be playful or hurtful, depending on tone and context. Tenth graders had a much more nuanced understanding and saw it as a tool for navigating social situations or discussing uncomfortable topics.

Younger children, lacking emotional insight and social awareness, may not recognize when roasting crosses the line, leading to misunderstandings where one child thinks they’re being funny while the other feels bullied.

Some argue that being roasted toughens kids up, but this idea is harmful. Learning to ignore verbal abuse should not be a childhood rite of passage. Children absorb the language they hear from adults and media, making it crucial that we model empathy and respectful humor.

Instead of resilience, children are learning to silence their feelings. Parents and caregivers can help by teaching children the impact of their words and promoting humor that doesn’t come at someone else’s expense.